In a tranquil Zen garden, there lived an old monk known for his profound wisdom. Students from far and wide came to seek his guidance. One day, a young monk approached him with a troubled heart.
“Master,” he said, “I am struggling to live with a fellow student. He is arrogant, quick to anger, and often speaks unkindly. His presence disturbs my peace. How can I find serenity in his presence?”
The old monk smiled and replied with a koan:
“In a field of pure white snow, a black crow has landed. Do you attempt to remove the crow, or do you appreciate the contrast it brings to the landscape?”
The young monk pondered this for days. He realized the old master was teaching him that life will always have difficult people, like the black crow in the white snow. The challenge was not to remove the person, which was often impossible, but to change his perspective towards the situation.
He began to observe his difficult companion more closely and noticed that behind the harsh exterior was a person struggling with his own insecurities and fears. This realization softened the young monk’s attitude. He started to approach his companion with compassion rather than irritation, which gradually changed the dynamics between them.
Over time, the difficult student’s behavior softened in response to the young monk’s kindness and patience. The young monk learned a valuable lesson: Peace does not come from changing others, but from changing one’s own reaction to them. The true art of living with a difficult person is not in conflict but in cultivating understanding and compassion.